Mother's Day

This is my Mom, whom I made a mother. (Okay, my Dad's there, too, but since we're talking about mom's, he's a bonus!) Also pictured is Princess B, who made me a step-mom, and Princess E, who turned me into a mama. I am blessed to still have my Mom and I am doubly blessed to be a mom.

Mother's Day remains a difficult day for me. When I was in my twenties, I went through several years of infertility treatments, without success. Eventually, my then-husband and I decided to stop trying. In many ways, this was a blessing, since we eventually ended up divorcing, and no child suffered because of it. But, during all of those years, Mother's Day was painful.

The only way I could manage was by focusing on HAVING a mother, rather than BEING a mother. I remember the day my focus changed. I was sitting in church, on Mother's Day, watching a little girl who was in my Sunday School class. I was teaching four year old's back then. I had often found myself angry at her mother, because she sent her five children to church on Sunday's with no breakfast. From what the older children said, the only time the children got to eat was at school. Eventually, the mom abandoned the children, and custody was given to their father. He turned out to be a great dad, he just hadn't been given a chance before. Anyway, this little girl sat on that pew on that Mother's Day with tears streaming down her face. All she wanted was her Mother. I realized then that I needed to focus on being thankful for having a mother.

Fast forward a few years. When King J and I married, he already had a daughter. I became an instant step-mom. Princess B was just two at the time.

When we found out we were expecting Princess E, it was quite the surprise! Given my history, we had no thoughts of having a biological child. Princess E made me a "MOM", er, well, Mama.

Today, I still find Mother's Day difficult. Yes, I am thankful to still have my mom with me. I know how blessed I am to have my own daughter. But, I still feel for those who struggle through this day. Those with empty arms, who long for a baby. Those with empty arms because their child is no longer with them. Those who no longer have their own mother anymore. It is a bittersweet day. I find it difficult to savor the joy of the day, knowing there are folks around me who are suffering.